Rebirth

I love the word: rebirth. We are all born once. But at some point in our lives, we would be born again. I’m not referring to the different Christian denominations/religions but to that state of being wherein you have just emerged from something so nasty, so painful and so dark that after everything that happened, you would turn out to be a better person.

And that is what I’m hoping for: a rebirth; a new life.

The past few years have not been so good to me. A lot had happened. But mostly, not so good events that really, really brought me down. And yet, here I am: alive and kicking.

I thought it would be all over soon. But as the days, months and the years pass by, it seems to be greater. More sufferings. More failures. It was just the beginning.

And the climax came on the last few months of the 17th year of my life. And even up to this time, hindi pa natatapos ang lahat.

Twelve hours ago, I turned 18. And yet, my spirit is still down. Really down. I’ve been actually sick for a month now. My cough won’t just go away.

Anyway, I’m still hoping that the following year would be better.

And to YOU up there, who is looking down on us, mightier than anyone or anything and who never left us in every step of our way. I’m sorry for doubting you once. I’ll never do it again. I believe you had a plan for me. And by the way, remember that once I told you: Paki batukan naman ako. And yes, it all happened. But you never did it to me. You made me do it to myself. And again, I’m asking you: please help me to live a new life with you. Serving you and the people you dearly love. Please. I beg of you. Maawa ka po sa hampas-lupang gaya ko.

And to everybody else, I’m asking for your prayers.

Thank you.